Graditude

In place of the usual letter I am doing again a sharing of an experience very apt for the month of graduation.

When I graduated from college, my friends found it very strange not to see my parents overly animated on the stage or would vocally express their affection towards me by kissing or hugging just like what was widely happening during that event. So in a flood of people hugging and kissing and tirelessly having their pictures taken, there I was with my family patiently waiting for the ceremonies. Some of my friends remarked about this asking if I do have a falling away with my family or even exaggerating saying that I actually did not want them to be around. What made the mark among the comments was the one pointing out the possibility of how ungrateful I was of my family.

I might be sharing same experience with those people coming from a cultural background where affection is expressed at a different degree far shy from what is usually seen here at the lowlands. Way back where I came from, you will feel the pride and affection of the parents and siblings not through the hugs and kisses but by their stories to the everyone of their child/sibling who made it through college. For people from an obscure barangay like me, it is really an achievement to move out of the comfort of the region and finish college. So merely hearing them share it proudly to other people takes the place of a million hugs or a thousand kisses.

Some would expect that I should have acted like the others since I am a donkey in the world of horses and I tell you I did. But it felt awkward and empty. What then is the purpose of showing these pseudo-affection aimed at glorifying gratitude if it is not actually heart felt? Then, now and forever I will stick with who I am. For gratitude I believe is not how the people around you see it but on how the person object of it feels it.

Make your Mama Proud

Dear Kimmy,

Share ko lang naman ang naging experience ko upang mapaaral ang aking anak. Ngayon ay graduating na siya sa kursong nursing. Napakasaya ko kasi after 4 years ng sakripisyo ay tapos na. Wala na akong asawa at ako lang ang nagtaguyod sa aking anak upang makapagtapos. Matalino naman ang anak ko kaya nakapasok siya sa isa sa mga leading universities ng ating bansa. Dito ko napatunayan na hindi hadalang ang kahirapan upang makapagtagumpay. Itatanong ko lang po sana kung meron bang magandang bukas para sa anak  ko na gradute ng nursing? kailangan ko ng payo.

Yna


Dear Yna,


Graduating from college is one thing to be proud of and I would really like to congratulate you for a job well done. The likes of you are worthy of emulation at this era where hopelessness abounds. I believe that the main cause why people are poor is their lack of capacity to believe. I admire that you have that strength in spirit to believe despite our bleak conditions - believing not just for yourself but for your daughter/son. Reality check however shows us that graduating is not a guarantee that it would be smooth sailing after.. May board exam pa.. job hunting pa. and all. malay mo baka malandi pala yang anak mo at may pamilya na. swerte mo kung isa ka sa mga priority niya kahit may sariling pamilya na siya. Worst pa malay mo baka may pamilya na anak mo at tinago lang sayo.. charing lang...

Asking me whether there is magandang bukas sa anak mo, I believe na relative din ang concept of magandang bukas. Some of us would find a high paying job an indication of magandang bukas. Yet some of us see it otherwise. Hindi ako naniniwalang walang trabaho para sa mga Pilipino.. Nasa sipag lang po yan para makahanap. sana ay pagpalain pa po kayo ng Diyos.

Kimmy

Money Money Happy peanuts

Dear Kimmy,

Yung problema ko naman po ay tungkol sa work ko. I really want na umalis na po ako dito kasi matagal na po ako dito pero parang wala silang balak ipromote ako or itaas man lang ang sahod. Almost 4 years na ako dito at masasabi ko naman na ginagalingan ko at nag ggrow ako sa work ko. Mayroon na akong nakitang bagong trabaho na mas maganda at mas malaki ang sahod pero nahihiya ako sa mga tao dito kasi ito ang first job ko. Sila ang unang kumupkop sa akin at nagbigay ng  experience. Paano po ako magpapaalam.

Elisse

Dear Elisse,

It is nice to hear that you really are considering what the company would think once you are leaving even to the expense of you not growing professionally. Kunyari ka din ano? chosera kang nagmamalinis daig mo pa si mr. clean, I am sure na what you are considering is not the iisipin ng company kundi yang sarili mo. You have made that current job as a comfort zone and you are just hesitating to move out because of the risks you are taking. Siguro encoder trabaho mo ngayon at ang ginagawa mo ay magkape mula pagpasok paglabas kaya takot ka na lumipat sa mas matrabahong trabaho.. hanlabo.. matrabahong trabaho.. nwei kung nagkakakakakape ka lang din naman di wg mo talaga asahang mag ka increase ka or mapromote ka.. ano yun? pantry supervisor ka na? yun ang gusto mo?

Ngunit kung ako lang, ay naku iisipin ko sarili ko at kebs na lang ako sa mga jejeera jan.. Umalis ka na para sa ikabubuti mo. It is for your own growth. Those that always hesitate are hesitant.. now you know.. Wag ka magsasabi at bigla na lang silang magtataka kung nasaan ka at saka sila gagawa ng teleserye na NASAAN KA ELISsE..

I personally experienced that situation na nahihiya ka nga naman na relationship na nabuo niyo at ikaw na bigla mang iiwan pero yun nga unahin mo ang sarili mo. Kasi the real measure of the authenticity of the relationship forged between you and your workmates will be measured by hoe well they will be able to set you free with an open heart. People who love you want you to grow. So come on.. lets sing the grow grow song..

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sing
Grow, grow, grow your boat gently down the stream


samasaiyo,
Kimmy