wrUng SenT

Promise, witty lang ang makakapick-up dun sa title.

 

Dear Kimmy,

I am writing this letter to share how deeply pissed I am with the UP people after the 2012 UAAP Cheerdance Competition. I heard you are a fellow Tiger kaya siguro naman ay nakikiisa ka sa aming observations regarding sa matinding pagyabang nga mga taga UP. For so long the SDT held the spot for the most wins and even the 5peat feat is still to be equalled by any other cheering squad.  Did the other schools hear from us na nagyayabang? Hindi diba. I have my elder brothers and sister study in UST also and we have observed that di yumayabang mga students dito when nanalo. Tapos idagdag pa jan ang sinasabi ng marami na dapat daw La Salle number 4 at di ang SDT. Ano ba? Ano ang big deal dun? Maganda din naman at competitive ang performance ng SDT ah? Bakit andami bitter? In my own opinion ay di kami katulad ng ibang cheering squads jan na nanggagaya ng routines at style o kahit theme ng mga kalaban during the previous seasons.

May mga kaklase ako from highschool who studied sa UP and they are so proud to the extent of bullying us UST students for a poor performance daw ng SDT. May mga nagsasabi daw na palaos ng palaos na sila. I think na hindi naman ganun kasi maganda nga ang nagging performance nila. Minsan nga lang ay iba-iba din ang taste ng judges kaya natural na minsan nanalo at minsan natatalo. Ok lang naman sa akin ang maging proud pero wag naman sana yung nang-aasar pa kasi nakakainis na talaga eh. Given the chance na I can dance talaga, sasali ako sa SDT at ipprove jan sa mga ibang schools na di pa kami laos.

Kahit na 4^th na lang ang SDT this year, very proud pa din ako sa kanila.

Little Miss Growling Tiger

Dear Little Miss Growling Tiger,

Before I start reacting to this letter, let me clear a confusion here. Although I am flattered that some may think that I am from UST and true enough- a part of my heart ONCE resided in UST (hahaha charotness wag na pangalanan at may magseselos ng matindi) but I cannot denounce my ISKA citizenship (mabaog ang kokontra) dahil magagalit ang aking boylet na isang isko (from the College of Engineering- Department of _____ Engineering to be exact). Given the opportunity na makakita ako ng isang Tiger na kasingtalino, kasing gwapo, kasing bait, kasing sipag ni Chovako ay go lang ako na magchange ng citizenship. Ganun naman di ba yung mga babae pag nag-aasawa, sinusuko ang kanilang mainden name? Feelingera lang ako eh. So here I am caught between the urge to bash you since you have pointed out that my fellow iskos and iskas are naging mayabang at alaskador right after the CDC and the desire to remain neutral as a blogger na hinihingan ng payo ng isang eklatera.

During my time as an undergraduate student at UP, the greatest rival we have when it comes to CDC ay ang UST- no doubt with that. So let us trace back my dear ano.. so dati-rati ay isa ang SDT sa mga namamayagpag sa CDC at ngayon ay number four na sila and still riddled with a lot of jeers pa kasi may mga nagsasabi nga na La Salle dapat (Sayo galing tong info na to na vinalidate ko by lurking sa PEX- very credible diba). So ano ang tawag mo doon? Graceful pagdausdos? Uhm pansamantalang pamamahinga ang #difeelngjudgesangdrama? Or pwede ding #kakaumaymanalopatalonamanminsan? Hahaha BukoJuiceko Maria tama na yang maang-maangan portion mo at magising ka sa katotohanan- ang term ng mga Tagalog sa phenomenon na yun ay pagkalaos. Go lang correct me if I am wrong. Pero ayun nga marami namang mga boldstarlets noon ang nagawa pa din sumikat sa showbiz kahit laos na ang panahon ng bomba sa Pinas dahil sa pagsulpot ng mga napakadaming aspiring pornstars. Guyabano Juiceko Matilda ayaw ng boylet ko ng ganyan kasi madasalin siya. Haha Kaya never too late para sa SDT na bumangon muli at durugin ang ibang school wag lang ang UP PEP. Hahaha Walang halong bias jan.

On the suggestion that given na magaling ka sumayaw ay sasali ka sa SDT- wow lang naman please let me react. Teh naman kahit anong gawin mong kakasplit dun. O kakatumbling o magpyramid ka mang mag-isa or magngangangawa ka- ano naman ang magagwa mo sakaling andun ka na ikaw lang ang makakagawa? Di ba the dance is supposed to be a group effort. Di ka pa nga member ay feelingerang pa-star ka na agad? Ayaw ng SDT sa mga primadonna sabi sa akin nung friend ko sa La Salle. I would not vouch for the credibility of that statement ha. 

On the point na hindi marunong mangggaya ang SDT- hmmm tahimik na lamang ako jan at walang sasabihin. Although the festive theme na Brazilian din daw I think was evident from a UP Pep performance a few years back. So are the other stunts that are being recycled and tagged as their own. Aside from that no comment na talaga. And wait lang pala, bakit naman hindi magmamayabang ang kasikohan at kaiskahan e nanalo nga? Magtaka ka na lang kung natalo nagyayabang pa. Yun na ang masama day!

Kung ako lang ang tatanungin at pwedeng magmagaling- just for one lang please. I would suggest that SDT should bank on their strengths in order to recapture their slot on the top 3. Since bahain naman jan baka naman nagmutate na kayo to adapt with the floods at gumaling kayo sa sisiran or pamamangka so why not gamitin yun sa mabuting paraan. Magtrain na lang kamo sila para sa dragonboat team at swimming team at sakaling makapasok ulit sila sa top 3 ng swimming at rowing. Oha san ka. 

Title pa lang maipilit lang.

uMaaRTe lang

Hellers mga readers, I have to apologize for neglecting my duty to update this blog. Been to busy with life given na sandamakmak ang aking mga commitments- sa UN, sa Embassy, sa New York.. hahahaha.

Kidding aside, I would like to feature this letter which was sent last April pa but I was not able to respond to it. I hope our readers can pick up something out of this. I think I should have posted this at my other blog site (MRTales but I will for the mean time feature it here.) Enjoy!!
_____________________________________________________________
Dear Kimmy,

I was riding the MRT on the way home when I came across some guys who are so noisy. They were talking about the girls whom they get to know through the MRT. One was noisier than the others and keeps on bragging that he is pursued by the girls he meet on the train. He shared that one time while on the train, a girl smiled at him and suddenly asked for his number oblivious of the crowd around them. At first, I thought the other guy is not sort of a braggart as the other but I am very wrong because he is as bragging as the other guy. He shared that once he encountered a married woman who asked him for a quick time at a motel near a station. All the other guys with them kept laughing and smirking as if the other two made great feats.

I was very much shocked with what these two guys are talking about. They were very noisy and they were disturbing me. I was very irritated because the topic should at least be hushed for other venues. I was harassed at the train. I think the trains should impose a rule for proper decorum among its riders.

Form,
Artnail

__________________________________________________________


Dear Artnail,

Yes I have to go with you that there really are a lot of insensitive people on the trains whether it be on the MRT, LRT or the PNR. Well I am not so sure with the PNR since I only tried it once and was appalled by the barbarism of some people. I am not very sure if I am drawing a very accurate conclusion from your observation as I can not profile the wrongdoers effectively due to your messy sharing of a story. Napakagulo day! Subra subra man talaga.. ansakit sa ulo.

You should have made the effort to provide some details whether these guys are kids out from school. That in itself can be categorized further into schoolboys from K-12 or highschool maybe or college or TESDA or the likes (soldiers from training courses or policemen).. hahahaha Kasi if you overheard some kids (K-grade 6/7) I can say that that was fully bragging. The idea is just so far fetch and these kids are just plainly ambisyoso. Well you might say that what a stupid blogger I am for not being able to segregate boys from guys- I would say that in my defense I am thinking that it might be you who posses a loose capacity to distinguish between guys or boys.

Nwei if ever naman na kabinataan yun. Pareho lang din ang aking masasabi na mga ambisyoso sila. Unless mga gwapo to the level of the heavens ang kanilang face and body value, only then can I agree that maybe truelalo at walang halong eklavo ang kanilang claims. You see kung gaano ka kawalang kwentang letter sender? the details are just so lacking that I can not judge the situation objectively.

Malay ko ba baka naman mga bakla ang mga nakaengkwentro mo at nais lang nilang imalign ang reputation ng mga bilat kaya they seem to make it appear na girls riding the trains are just so cheap to strike on boys. Well if they have made the effort of broadcasting it to everyone on the train, my theory is very plausible. Mga baklang maninira sa reputasyon ng mga babae. Kais look at it, either they benefit from it by making it appear na mga macho guys sila na katilam-tilam or that they want the other guys on the train to be disgusted with the girls. Sounds far fetched? I do not think so.hahaha

If indeed these guys are hot as they claim, why have I not seen them? Why have they singled out those girls while in fact some gays and guys (pretending to be guys lang) are more agressive when it comes to making it known to the opposite sex about their attraction. Kaya isang napakalaking Nannette Inventor award and aking igagawad sa mga lalaking yan. Kung mali man ako, next time naman na maencounter mo ulit sila pakiusapan mo naman sila na icontact ako ng makita ko naman for myself and pinagmamayabang nila.

Sa lahat ng readers should you face a similar situation,  confront these feelingeros and tell them straight..

"malaglag man bayag mo kung di totoo yan?"

promise, nothing can disarm feelingeros better than this!

To close this, in the name of fair blogging I would like to say that my blog is open for the accused perpetrators to send back their notes to refute whatever is here. 


-Kimmy at your service
___________________________________
Keep sending the letters

In the Name of Needs

Kimmy,

I do not know what prompted me to write this confession of how I fared through my college days. Maybe just like the others who shared, I just want to have someone else know of my story and I am just hoping that they can use it in whatever way they find it useful. I am currently a licensed engineer now and is blessed to land a good paying job. Looking back at where I came from I am torn between pride and shame of what I gave away to get this far. Due to grim financial constraints experienced by my family, my government scholarship does not suffice to fund my schooling. There were many times when I was short of funds that I would not be eating my meals just so I could save something for the things required for my classes. There were times that tightening the belt is not enough to satisfy the hunger for material things. I am not a person of luxury but is it luxury to desire for better food to eat and better clothes to wear? that alongside the desire to be able to buy the books on time and pay for every need that is a requisite to my studies. So I peddled myself to get those additional funds. I can not count how many times, I did it and to be honest I enjoyed some of it. Some to my classmates and some to random people who made the offer. Up to now I feel dirty but I am practical enough to realize that it was called for that time. That experience inspires me up to now and I can say that I have earned what I have the hard way.

Anthony

Dearest Anthony,

Thank you for trusting me to propagate this letter. In Tagalog, salamat sa pagtitiwalang binigay mo na ako ang magkalat ng kwento mong ito. hahaha. So what can I say? I am merely answering concerns and based on your letter you seem not to be asking any opinions from me. But I will still air my opinion regardless of whether you asked for it or not.

Maybe your case is one of the rare cases of substantiating the reasons for prostitution. I am not that 100% convinced though that that would have been the best way to do it. There are a lot of call centers these days and getting a job part time answering calls or teaching some Koreans is far decent than selling flesh. Unless you have tried and found some impediments to these options- then I might say that you have made the right gambles for the realization of your dreams. Good thing that you have remained focused on your goal and is not dazzled by the easy way of getting money and get sucked to it. hahahaha forgive the use of that word but that was unintentional.

That by the way was my conservative self speaking- the vulgar side of me thinks that you are indeed lucky to have tried the trade where you enjoyed what you are doing. So let us get this straight Engr Anthony- so are you gay now? or are you one of those who claim to be  bi-sexuals but purely gay on the inside? I heard that most of the culbams are actually bisexuals or pretentious gays who are looking for some avenues to expel the heat.. ahahhaha expel the heat daw..

Combining the thoughts of my two selves, we came up with a consensus that maybe you did the right thing- maybe not the morally right thing but just the right thing. We just hope that where you are right now, you might be able to help other people especially those of your close kin to avoid getting into situations like yours. There are always drawbacks from learning life the hard way.

So maybe you can take me out for a date? hahahha (that was my flirty self talking)

Kimmy

Munting Hiritera

Dearest Kimmy,

Hello po. Kumusta po kayo jan? Magkukuwento po ako tungkol sa aming kapitbahay na nakakainis na. Pag dumadaan po kasi ako pagkagaling sa trabaho ay nadadaanan ko ang bahay na iyon. Malapit po kasi ako sa katulong nila kaya lagi ko siyang kinakausap. Pag dumadaan po ako ay lagi ko din pong nadadaanan ang anak na babae ng mga amo ng katulong. Naiinis po ako dahil pag tinatanong ko yung batang may 12 years old ay mataray sumagot na parang Vice Ganda. Minsan po nung tinanong ko kung andun sa loob ang katulong nila, sinagot po niya ako ng ganito. Siyempre nasa loob ng bahay alangan namang nasa bahay niyo? katulong nga namin diba? alangan namang katulong niyo? Ganun po ang sagot nung bata. Minsan ay sinabi din niya na pag nagtatanung ako. Ulit ulit na lang? Ulit Ulit? Unli ka ba? ganun po. Ano po gagawin ko sa malditang bata na ito.

Miss Precy of Calamba


Dear Miss Precy of Calamba,

At in fairness sa iyo ay pumatol ka talaga sa malditang bata na yan. Wow lang ang masasabi ko sayo. Napakamature mo naman. I find it natural na ganyan ang bata kasi yun nga nanonormalize na gawi ng pagsagot dahil sa popular media. TV man or sa mga babasahin ay yan na ang pausong paraan. We often find it amusing but true enough, if we are faced with the situation ourselves- we find it offensive na parang we are being taken for granted. Kaya before getting angry at the child, think about those times na nagawa mo din yan sa kapwa mo. Alam mo naman ngayon ay digital na ang karma... Bago mo gawin sa kapwa mo ay gawin mo sa sarili mo.. haha. Di ba tama naman. For one to realize the pain of something, one must go through it personally.

So with that said, ayan na papayuhan na kita kung ano ba dapat ang gawin mo sa batang yan para magtanda. I myself is easily irritated sa mga bratenellang mga chikiting na yan. Unang choice mo jan is isumbong mo sa magulang na bad ang anak.. hahaha ganun-lumelevel ka dapat at tumandang paurong. Pangalawa. isumbong mo na yan sa XXX or sa Imbestigador para di na siya tantanan sa kanyang kamalditahan. Pag di masyadong kaya ang ganun, better report that sa punong barangay para mapag-usapan na ang pagpapatalsik sa mag-anak na yan- just be sure na magblack propaganda ka ahead of time para marami ka supporters sa iyong petition to drive that child out. Outcast kumbaga ang drama jan. 

Tandaan, love your neighbor as you love your dog. haha

Thank you for the continuous support sa blog na to.

Sincerely,

The new and single Kimmy

PS. Kung makakumusta ka naman jan parang kamag-anak lang kita.. hahaha close masyado? next time mare pwede mag qoutation marks ha para alam ko ang sinabi ng ibang tao sa sinasabi mo. Walang bayad ang pag gamit nun. 

Ganda mo Tey

Dear Miss Kimmy,

Sure ako na isa kang beki sa pang-ookray mo pa lang sa mga letter senders mo. Ngayon gusto kong malaman kung ano ang pananaw mo sa usapin ng mga baklang-nagpalit-kasarian pinpayagang makasali na sa mga patimpalak ng kagandahan. Ako din po na isang beki ay naniniwalang isa itong paraan upang maipantay natin ang ating uri sa lipunan. Hinihingi ko po na sana ito ang mapili mo na sulat upang maramdaman naman namin ang iyong simpatiya sa ating mga beki na matgal ng inaalipusta.

Keri tey

salamat,
Back Slash

Dear Back Slash,

My taking your side will depend on the reasons you have for pushing the fair recognition of the LGBTQ community. I do not see myself pushing the issue of us being recognized as women kasi di naman totoo yun.. Ang katotohanan ay nasa LGBTQ class tayo. Doon sa issue ng pagkasama ng mga tranny sa beauty contest na yan, tingin ko lang ay threatened ang mga true blue na gurlash.. Bakit nga ba? kasi mas kabogera ang mga beko sa talent pa lang at sa pagiging witty. Joking aside, it is important that the world start to recognize the inclusion of the trannies on the BPs for it is the more responsible step as opposed to creating a pageant solely devoted to them. Ang pageant kasi ng mga bakla ay may lamat na ang image so whatever we do, people will always see it as a second rate pageant... aking opinyon lang po yun ha.. Kaya on this note naniniwala ako na dapat maging bukas ang ating isip.

Bimbos Out There

Kimmy,

I have this office mate who really looks hot and is really handsome- well maybe not in your standards since I have heard from a friend of yours that you really have an eye for gorgeous men. And I have also heard that you have a very gorgeous boyfriend. Nweiz this office mate of mine despite being physically buff is very dull.. as in very dull. You go on talking about a topic for a while and then you ask his opinion and ended up getting some stupid answers or some that are not actually related to the topic. Sometimes, this guy will butt in on conversations and talk about out of the yard "connections" with what is currently being discussed. I was initially smitten by his good looks but now I am very disappointed by his poor English grammar and the evident stupidity he is showing me.

Eva Fonda

Hi Eva Fonda,

Wow, wait lang ha. Buhay mo ba or buhay ko ang pinag uusapan natin dito? I do not see the need for you to establish my credibility in scrutinizing the male breed. Chika lang yang nalaman mo about me. What you just shared opened my eyes into looking at the male version of a bimbo as this description is commonly used to attractive females who are not intelligent. I was surprised to find out that the bimbo term was initially intended to describe the dull males. So much for the lecture (I apologize for that), I also have some share of experiences with bimbos. If it may help you dissipate the discomfort of being in an office with a bimbo, let may share how I went through it. So since these type of people are likely to be poorly analytical in nature, it is healthy to talk about nonsense whenever you are with them. In Tagalog, pag usapan niyo ang mga walang kwentang bagay para pwedeng kung ano ano lang din masabi- may masabi lang. Isa pa pwede rin kayong maglaro ng "Palayuan sa Usapan" para naman magtanga tangahan kayo at di niya super mafeel ang disappointment niyo sa kakulangan niya.

I hope I was of help to your predicament.

Kimmy

Callboy Maybe

(text translated from Kankanaey)

Hoy Kim,

Kumusta ka na? Nagulat naman ako dito sa mga pinagsususulat mo. Prang hindi ikaw way back nung nasa atin pa tayo. May chika ako. Naaalala mo pa ba si ****** yung kapatid ni **&@##  na batchmate natin pero sa ibang school nag-aaral? Yun basta yun may friend ako na beki dito sa Baguio tapos nag-aaway daw sila ng isa pang beki na taga Trinidad naman dahil daw kay ******* na mukhang pinagsasabay sila. At game daw tong si ******* sa lahat kaya naman pinaglalabanan talaga ng mga bakla dito. Hindi ko lang inexpect na ganun siya kasi diba cute si *******. Di naman nila kailangan ng pera kasi OK naman family niya. Basta ayun text mo ako para machika ko pa yung iba. Di mo na lam nangyayari dito sa tain di ka na kasi nakakauwi lagi.

Cletty


Dear Cletty,

Makahoy ka jan parang anak mo ako ah. Pero sige pagbibigyan kita kasi sabi mo nga we know each other. makakumusta ka naman jan parang close tayo. Speaking of that chika you just shared, naku napakabul;ok na niyan. Inaamag na teh, yaan mo na. I actually have talked with the kid on one of my trips to Baguio and was quite surprised with how vulgar he is. I chanced upon him at the bus station while I am heading him and was surprised when he talked to me as if we are close. I am close with his kuya but not with him. So there I was asking about his kuya and there he was insinuating we hit the hotel nearby. I was so appaled by that vulgar peddling of flesh...kaloka.. kati to the max to. I myself wonder what happened.

Pero atey so much na sa pakikialam mo. Ikayayaman mo ba ang mga nalaman mo? Pakiramdam ko feel mo lang si ******* at di ka pinagbigyan. baguhin mo na yang pakikialam mo atey.. pagdarasal kita.

Salamatsomats,
Kimmy

itS COOL BOO cool

Dearest Kimmy,

The enrollment period is coming and I am happy that I was accepted to the National University of our country which is the University of the Philippines Diliman. Not just any campus but UP Diliman. I will be taking a course in Journalism at the College of Mass Communications. I sent this letter because I think I saw you during our orientation at the College of Social Work and Community Development two weeks ago. You were one of the hosts and I think you took the light away from the other two. Keep up the good job. I am just surprised that the author of this blog is a personality in my school. Proud to be UP.

fresh ISKO

Dear Fresh Isko,

 So natuwa ka naman na nakapasok ka ng UP at sa Maskom ka pa.. at may gana ka pang ispell out lahat sa akin ang mga kung anik anik na school mo, college mo or whatsoever.. as if di ko alam yun.wag kang magmagaling kasi mas alam ko mga yan.. chot lang... bakit alam mo ba CIDL or ang NIML?  Kung lalaki ka, feel ko hintayin mo na lang na maging bakla ka.. charing lang magagalit ang ilang mga lalaki na galing masscom sa aking generalization. O siyasiya asawa ni dolphy, masaya din ako at nakapasok ka ibigay mo na lang sa akin number mo ng mapaabangan kita sa mga bakla na KNL ng may bagong mahipuan naman yung mga yun. What makes me wonder is the purpose of your letter. Concern na ba itong freshie ka sa UP at nakita mo ako? e ano naman ngayon kung nakita mo ako? nakita ba kita? ikayayaman ba natin pareho na nakita mo ako nung freshie orientation. Sure ka ba talaga na ako yun? kasi kung bakla yung nakita mo at mapang-okray, sigurado ako na hindi ako yun.. Ayun so para magkasense naman tong sulat mo, papayuan na lang kita ng ilan para maging happy ang buhay mo sa UP. 1.Wag magpapahatid kay nanay sa unang araw kasi matatandaan ka ng mga tao na taong hinahatid ng nanay hanggang college. Kaw din pag namihasa ka baka di ka makapasok pag di ka hinahatid ng iyong ina. Hindi cool yun..
2. Wag bilhin ang mga pinapabiling mga required books ng brandnew. Either mag Recto ka at humanap ng napakamurang 2nd hand or maghanap ka sa SC ng mga near to original photocopies.. hahaha pag wala pang ganun sa SC ay mag pauso ka at lansiin mo ang mga kaklase mo na bumili saka mo hiramin at pafoto copy.
3. Maging bibo pa din kasi alam naman nating daig ng Epal ang hayok sa uno. So kakabit ng pag-aaral ng mabuti, maigi din na may recall ka sa mga teachers mo para alam na ang grade na makukuha sa end ng sem. Abangan lagi ang teacher at mag offer na buhatin ang gamit, mag erase ng blackboard or mag pa fotocopy ng mga syllabus or hand-outs ng prof.
4. Magenlist ng madaming choices kasi alam naman nating daig ng nakarami ang maraming pwedeng i drop.. ahahhaha mag overload ka saka mo idrop ang mga choices na malamang ay mababa ang grade mo.. o di va napakabrilliant. Check mo na lang baka di ka pa pwedeng mag overload habang freshie ka pa pero maigi na din alam mo...

Salamat sa pagbabasa ng aking blog at pagkatuwa sa aking hosting skills.. sa uulitin.

Kimmy

Flipping coins

Here I was, a staunch advocate for the respect of human rights. Even extending my sympathy to felons and thugs, I am always emphasizing the consideration of human rights despite the bleakness of background or whatsoever. Oftentimes, I come to debate this stand with some of my friends who are in the military and in the police force as these branches of the government security are notorious for carrying out blatant disregard and disrespect for human rights. Time and again we are exposed to the cases of torture, enforced disappearances, organized crime groups, abduction, molestations and other crimes perpetrated by the military and the police in the course of their so called pursuit for justice.

However it is indeed a different case when you or one of your family would come across a situation that would test how strong you are on the stand you have chosen to take. My campaign for the popularization of the idea on human rights would personally benefit me as the third sex is also a frequent victim of human rights violations. My campaign then for the overall observance of all rights is in part a  personal campaign to gather respect and be treated as an equal by other people.

Early this week, my brother was heavily mugged by 5 able men at the public market in Baguio City. I am confident that should there have been 3 thugs, my brother would have been able to match them. But going against five is a thing for the action stars and not for my brother who is barely 18 years old. After mugging him, they robbed him off his phone, his money and even his shoes. Unbelievably, these people are really that needy or greedy to be robbing down to the shoes. Raising the point that shoes in Baguio City should be cheap given the rampant ukay ukay stalls. So my brother walked the distance of about 5 kilometers just to get home with his swollen face, aching body and only his socks on his feet. 

Having this incident  happen in our life makes me contemplate and justify the reasons behind enforced disappearances and torture and vigilante acts and salvaging. I came to a point where I was questioning my once solid stand on human rights. But that was all wrong. I am still solid on my stand to uphold human rights. On the case of these thugs, I would not care if one of these days they would be victims of salvaging or the likes (which I pray would be the case) for I believe no sane human being can ever do that stunt without holding back or thinking twice. The likes of these people lost their sense of humanity along the way. They are human no more. I believe a human rights activist has no thing for them and maybe PAWS can be more accommodating.

*no offense meant for PAWS

Baring Self-righteousness

The Lenten season must have crept deeply into my nerves that I am having my personal retreat-recollection right in front of the television. Not that the show on TV is a preachy type condemning sinners to repent from their sins, but I am hit to that extent anyway. Making it more funny is the fact that the show is a recent local movie with the theme of forgiveness but was presented i a very light tone. I am not sure if I cried after the movie but the fact is I was deeply moved by the thought of forgiveness to the extent of praying repeatedly for forgiveness for those that I have wronged in the past.

I can not actually count or even estimate roughly those enemies I have generated up to this point in my life. I am aware that I am a detached individual who is not good at reconciliation which maybe is the reason that I have accumulated that much. Of all my skills maybe I am best at making criticisms. Criticisms that hurt a lot of people. I feel no remorse on doing that as I have always used honesty  and being vocal as an excuse to appease my conscience. I have accepted long ago that this is a friendless life.

I am not so sure what in the movie made me very repentant as I have watched a variety of that kind of parental conflict-resolution drama with most of it better portrayed. As I was watching the movie all memories of me hurting all my friends rushed in. I suddenly felt guilty.

After all the drama and the hype of emotions subsided, I was left with one question whether to go on with this kind of life or should I say sorry to every soul I have or may not have deliberately hurt. The bitch in me is unyielding for it suppresses every desire to do this. Maybe someday I may be able to do it. Maybe the movie was not enough to inspire me to defeat all my inner demons. But should I blame the insufficiency of inspiration derived from the movie even if I know that the change must come from the personal choice to be better?

Graditude

In place of the usual letter I am doing again a sharing of an experience very apt for the month of graduation.

When I graduated from college, my friends found it very strange not to see my parents overly animated on the stage or would vocally express their affection towards me by kissing or hugging just like what was widely happening during that event. So in a flood of people hugging and kissing and tirelessly having their pictures taken, there I was with my family patiently waiting for the ceremonies. Some of my friends remarked about this asking if I do have a falling away with my family or even exaggerating saying that I actually did not want them to be around. What made the mark among the comments was the one pointing out the possibility of how ungrateful I was of my family.

I might be sharing same experience with those people coming from a cultural background where affection is expressed at a different degree far shy from what is usually seen here at the lowlands. Way back where I came from, you will feel the pride and affection of the parents and siblings not through the hugs and kisses but by their stories to the everyone of their child/sibling who made it through college. For people from an obscure barangay like me, it is really an achievement to move out of the comfort of the region and finish college. So merely hearing them share it proudly to other people takes the place of a million hugs or a thousand kisses.

Some would expect that I should have acted like the others since I am a donkey in the world of horses and I tell you I did. But it felt awkward and empty. What then is the purpose of showing these pseudo-affection aimed at glorifying gratitude if it is not actually heart felt? Then, now and forever I will stick with who I am. For gratitude I believe is not how the people around you see it but on how the person object of it feels it.

Make your Mama Proud

Dear Kimmy,

Share ko lang naman ang naging experience ko upang mapaaral ang aking anak. Ngayon ay graduating na siya sa kursong nursing. Napakasaya ko kasi after 4 years ng sakripisyo ay tapos na. Wala na akong asawa at ako lang ang nagtaguyod sa aking anak upang makapagtapos. Matalino naman ang anak ko kaya nakapasok siya sa isa sa mga leading universities ng ating bansa. Dito ko napatunayan na hindi hadalang ang kahirapan upang makapagtagumpay. Itatanong ko lang po sana kung meron bang magandang bukas para sa anak  ko na gradute ng nursing? kailangan ko ng payo.

Yna


Dear Yna,


Graduating from college is one thing to be proud of and I would really like to congratulate you for a job well done. The likes of you are worthy of emulation at this era where hopelessness abounds. I believe that the main cause why people are poor is their lack of capacity to believe. I admire that you have that strength in spirit to believe despite our bleak conditions - believing not just for yourself but for your daughter/son. Reality check however shows us that graduating is not a guarantee that it would be smooth sailing after.. May board exam pa.. job hunting pa. and all. malay mo baka malandi pala yang anak mo at may pamilya na. swerte mo kung isa ka sa mga priority niya kahit may sariling pamilya na siya. Worst pa malay mo baka may pamilya na anak mo at tinago lang sayo.. charing lang...

Asking me whether there is magandang bukas sa anak mo, I believe na relative din ang concept of magandang bukas. Some of us would find a high paying job an indication of magandang bukas. Yet some of us see it otherwise. Hindi ako naniniwalang walang trabaho para sa mga Pilipino.. Nasa sipag lang po yan para makahanap. sana ay pagpalain pa po kayo ng Diyos.

Kimmy

Money Money Happy peanuts

Dear Kimmy,

Yung problema ko naman po ay tungkol sa work ko. I really want na umalis na po ako dito kasi matagal na po ako dito pero parang wala silang balak ipromote ako or itaas man lang ang sahod. Almost 4 years na ako dito at masasabi ko naman na ginagalingan ko at nag ggrow ako sa work ko. Mayroon na akong nakitang bagong trabaho na mas maganda at mas malaki ang sahod pero nahihiya ako sa mga tao dito kasi ito ang first job ko. Sila ang unang kumupkop sa akin at nagbigay ng  experience. Paano po ako magpapaalam.

Elisse

Dear Elisse,

It is nice to hear that you really are considering what the company would think once you are leaving even to the expense of you not growing professionally. Kunyari ka din ano? chosera kang nagmamalinis daig mo pa si mr. clean, I am sure na what you are considering is not the iisipin ng company kundi yang sarili mo. You have made that current job as a comfort zone and you are just hesitating to move out because of the risks you are taking. Siguro encoder trabaho mo ngayon at ang ginagawa mo ay magkape mula pagpasok paglabas kaya takot ka na lumipat sa mas matrabahong trabaho.. hanlabo.. matrabahong trabaho.. nwei kung nagkakakakakape ka lang din naman di wg mo talaga asahang mag ka increase ka or mapromote ka.. ano yun? pantry supervisor ka na? yun ang gusto mo?

Ngunit kung ako lang, ay naku iisipin ko sarili ko at kebs na lang ako sa mga jejeera jan.. Umalis ka na para sa ikabubuti mo. It is for your own growth. Those that always hesitate are hesitant.. now you know.. Wag ka magsasabi at bigla na lang silang magtataka kung nasaan ka at saka sila gagawa ng teleserye na NASAAN KA ELISsE..

I personally experienced that situation na nahihiya ka nga naman na relationship na nabuo niyo at ikaw na bigla mang iiwan pero yun nga unahin mo ang sarili mo. Kasi the real measure of the authenticity of the relationship forged between you and your workmates will be measured by hoe well they will be able to set you free with an open heart. People who love you want you to grow. So come on.. lets sing the grow grow song..

1
2
3
sing
Grow, grow, grow your boat gently down the stream


samasaiyo,
Kimmy

Cadet Kadate

Now in line with the annual event at PMA, I will post a sharing..

I used to have an extreme crush on someone who went to be a cadet. He is an officer now in service and is much more attractive but I seem to have lost that affection towards him before he graduated from the academy. Cheap as you may call it but we started out as textmates way back when they were denied of cellphones inside the school and having textmates seem to be a craze among teenagers.. Yes that is a Yes -this story was way back my teenage days.

I will not tell you how exactly I came to know him but I will share the experience how our roads first met. Now I will say that some of the cadets who are so thirsty for affection often ask their "friends" for numbers of prospective girls to flirt with.  This guy and me do have one friend in common and maybe out of jest, gave my number to the guy introducing me as a lady studying in Manila. Everything he told him were right: that I hailed from Sagada and that I am studying at UP Diliman and that I love singing and that I know so and so.. Now it turned that this guy is not that too eager type who immediately calls and is not specifically asking me to describe myself making me unaware of the situation our friend pushed us into.

Months passed with us going well with our communication-especially the heavy texting sessions during weekends talking about all nonsense. From usual texting came sweet texting seasoned with the "kumain ka na ba " or "gising na po tayo" drama. I always laugh when I recall that I was a teenager once and that I really acted like one. It makes me feel shame each time I walk memory lane. 

Came the time when he started professing love which made me very surprised. I now fully understood the situation and it kept me wondering up till now how in the world did we not discuss gender or made hints.. or maybe we were just engrossed with the heavy sweet talks that we completely ignored every signal. Neither did we check each others friendster account to check on the identity of each other. We settled on the emotions solely elicited by our imagination of who we are sending messages to and the personality reflected by the replies. I would confess that up till the time my phone got stolen, I still kept all his "valuable" messages.

Semestral break came and he pleaded to see me in Baguio of which I obliged. What I did not oblige to was his plan for a date in Pangasinan for I know what might happen once we see each other. I had doubts that he might get mad once he realizes he has been duped and might be blaming me for pretending that I am a lady instead of a great goddess. I hesitated at first to meet him but I trusted my imaginations of his personality.

We met at a restaurant in Baguio. He did not seem surprised to see a more handsome guy in place of a lady he recently started courting through text. I later learned that a month before our meet-up, he had his suspicions of the joke made by our friend. He already confirmed it and was just testing me if I have no participation on the bad joke that hit him terribly. He confessed that he loved the illusion of me.. He admired the words of wisdom of someone who is not actually me. Yet he was happy that I was innocent of the case.. well not completely but innocent enough.

Up to today we do have a good friendship and we see each other from time to time. After our meet up I confessed I developed a crush on him. He called and we just laughed it off. He shared that I should have taken the opportunity when he professed his love. Yet we stayed as friends.. the sending of messages did not falter and just developed into full conversations over the phone. I would help him in his research and theme papers while he helped me in my Math. I was his imaginary GF and he was my imaginary BF.

vaLENTines

Dear Kimmy,

Hi Kumusta ka? Sumulat lang ako sayo para ishare na masaya ang date ko ngayong valentines. Kumain kami sa isang mamahaling restaurant at nag pa spa pa kami sa isang mamahaling spa. Ano pa ang mahihiling ko sa Poon ngayong may mayaman at guwapo akong BF. Masaya din naman siya kasi di naman siya lugi sa akin. This is to inspire your readers to strive and get the best people for them. Anjan lang sila at hanapin kasabay ng dasal sa Panginoon na sana ay matagpuan mo na.

Truly,

Evelyn


Dear Evelyn,

Una sa lahat feeling ko your name must be EVILyn and you just misspelled it. I do not like the way you presented your so-called inspirational letter for my readers kasi mas mayabang siya kaysa inspiring. It is not healthy to be boastful of everything you have that is not worth boasting of. Nakakahiya ka teh.. I am even doubting the authenticity of your claim regarding your dinner and spa-experience at an expensive venue because you are unable to name these establishments. If I be the proud girl taken to these places, I will name them so that I will trully share the experience as well as inspire other people to trythe superb food and service. Kung mahirap man nakakbasa ng post ko, I believe everyone can save up for an occassional pampering opf selves. Your letter is full of insecurity, I have a feeling that you are extremely ugly and even youre boyfriend... well tingin ko you are exagerrating.. Well kung totoong mapalad ka man na maganda na nga at may bf na mabait and all that you claim.. answerte mo... pero is that really true? mamatay man?

Napansin mo ba na sa word na Valentines ay may word na lent? tama ka jan Evilyn kasi ikaw ang magsisinakulo at ipapako sa krus ngayong season. Or better yet ikaw daw ngayon ang iaaward na Valentina dahil mahadera ka.. Ayan na ang korona mong ahas.

Higit sa lahat, Happy valentines na lang sa lahat ng mambabasa.

Kimmy here

Star ng Noche Buena

Dear Kimmy,

Gusto kong sumulat sa iyo pero wala naman akong problemang pag-ibig na maisasangguni. Nais ko lamang ma-feature sa blog mo at marinig kung ano man ang maipapayo mo. Kasi bet na bet ko ang mga words of wisdom mo. Pak na pak! Anong gagawin ko?

Love,
Mashobang Jontis

 

Dearest Mashobang Jontis,

 

Alam ko wala ka magawa ngayon kaya rereplyan kita ng mahaba haba para naman may magawa ka..Well jan sa ambisyon mo na mafeature sa blog ko..mapalad ka kasi sa dinami dami ng mga sumusulat at sumasangguni ay ikaw ang aking pinag bigyan.. Mapalad ka talaga dahil ikaw ay isang tunay na PALAD.. gets? well kung hindi keri lang.. So since wala ka naman talagang problemang maisasangguni kunwari na lang ay may problema ka sa inyong kapitbahay na nagPDA madalas.. Ang drama nito.. mababa ang bakod at laging kitang kitang niyo..

 

Well for that problem I would suggest na imbes na maimbiyerna ka ay gawin mo na lang itong kapakipakinabang. Kung mga may itsura naman itong mga kapitbahay mo, manood ka na lang lagi at sa kanila ka maglihi.. Bukod sa may itsura ang anak mo, pinaglihi pa siya sa marubrob na pagmamahalan.. san ka pa.. Toinks. Pwede din namanggawin mo itong aphrodisiac kasi ang hiegthened sexual activities ay nakakapayat.. toinks again.. ahaha Besides.. maganda ang konting exercise para sa baby.. plangak again.

 

Joking aside, magandang kunan mo sila ng video at kung maari, yung makukuha mo bawat detalye. Alam naman natin na ang mga Pilipino ngayon ay sabik sa mga sex scandals at talagang mabenta ito (kahit patay ay mabenta pa din sex scandal gaya nina Ram). Gawin mo itong kabuhayan at magiging porn magnate ka na.. start it as a cottage industry.. may ganun talaga promise. Ito na ang sgaot sa kahirapan. Kung hindi mo man kailangan ang pera na kikitain dito, ipamahagi mo na lang sa mga binaha sa Iligan or sa naland slide sa ComVal. Di ba nakaganti ka na sa mga bastos at insensitive na kapitbahay, nakatulong ka pa sa iba..

 

Mabuhay kayo sampu ng iyong angkan at salamat sa pagtangkilik.. feeling ko kakilala kita.. malakas lang ang feeling ko..

 

Lubos na nagmahal,

(nagmahal talaga kasi past tense)

Kimmy

Ripples on my Still Pond

Despite the number of letters received during the holidays, I guess it is still best to start the year with a story.

Sometimes we tend to be consumed by our own loneliness that we settle very deep into our selves. The next thing we know, we are strangers in our selves and will always be looking for the solitude to free us from the harassing noise of the world.

Living alone is a vice. It consumes the desire of an individual to genuinely yearn for someone to be with. At face value, the person used to live alone may be with greatest desires to mingle with others but would soon realize that it is not the case once the noisy crowd closes in.

Such is an experience of a friend who decided to go home for the holidays to somehow break the monotony of life. Go home to the familiarity of the family, the house, the town and even just the feel of being home and convince the self that somewhere there is a home to belong to. A home where there are other people who would reinforce the thought that you are valued and loved. Maybe it has always been there, only that the mind wanders off this fact and gets disillusioned that somehow you are neglected. For we are only human and we periodically need to be reminded of the essentials of life.

Imagine going home seeking the familiarity and the warmth of home. Longing for the warmth of other people. To converse with familiar faces and share old silly anecdotes that never go out of fashion. Just how would you feel if you come home to a home you once knew stuffed with all those strangers that threaten the solace you once thought to find. Right in the heart of your home, the strangers invaded.

Now that vacation you longed for is marred by the presence of strangers who are weak enough to sense that you need some space. Insensitive enough to provide you with the space you need and ugly enough to outweigh the irritation of living with total strangers while keeping a facade of enthusiasm.

Living alone is a bad vice for if it sticks, it corrodes being sociable.